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Tough Love

Tough Love

By: DISORDER MAGAZINE

Life gets confusing pretty quickly. With every change comes a question or ten. Here are some answers, care of make-up artist extraordinaire Tabitha Johnson.

Dear Tabitha, 

I feel like even though I do my make-up everyday, I don’t really know what I’m doing and fear I’m doing everything wrong. How can I improve? (Emma, Somerset) 

If you can match your foundation to the colour of your chest and blend well, I’m happy. As a professional make-up artist, my aim with foundation is to smooth skin tone and texture while keeping the skin looking natural and effortlessly flawless. Never cakey. Avoid contouring for daytime. It is about as subtle as wearing a push-up bra on the outside of your top. Brushes are a great investment. If in doubt check out Wayne Goss on YouTube, he’s great and gives very honest brush reviews. If you have good skin and look after yourself then a tinted moisturiser can be enough. You don’t need to buy a foundation just because brands sell you on the idea it’s a necessity. What’s more important to me is looking after your skin so minimal foundation is ever needed and you have a natural glow: drink at least two litres of water a day, always remove your make-up, wear sunscreen every day of your life and invest in a good pair of sunglasses to avoid squint wrinkles. 

 

Dear Tabitha, 

I am an American in England studying. I love the city and I’d like to move here permanently after University, but I also find times when I really miss home and my family. What advice do you have for coping with homesickness? (Johnny, Oxford) 

Homesickness is rough. I recently moved from Australia to London. Many of us end up with family and friends living all over the world as we explore study, work, travel and form relationships away from home. The good news is this makes for amazing travel opportunities and catch-ups. My friends and I talk on WhatsApp regularly and send photos, messages, dirty jokes, snaps, quotes, memes and video messages to stay connected. 

 

Dear Tabitha, 

What’s the best way to balance healthy food into my everyday diet? And how can I know if something is actually healthy for me? (Bonnie, London) 

Realistically, the only way to know if something is healthy for you is to be really in touch with your own body and how it responds to what you stick in it. 

Dear Tabitha, 

There’s a bit of a trend of guys refusing to wear a rubber for the sake of better pleasure. I feel shy girls like me are afraid to speak up for the fear of being rejected or judged. How can we women build up the courage to tell the guy that unprotected sex is not an option? (Lily, London) 

Casual sex can easily lead to your sexual health being compromised. Firstly, you have no idea how many other Tinder girls he’s sleeping with. Secondly, if he doesn’t want to use a rubber with you lets just assume he isn’t using one with anyone. I had a friend diagnosed with HIV when they were 21 years old. I can’t even tell you how devastating that was. Later, I dated a guy with genital herpes for years. I never caught it because I was so strict with condoms. He actually caught it from his last girlfriend who knew she had them and didn’t mention it. One day in their relationship they stopped using protection and bingo. I could not believe she had done that to him. For me condoms aren’t negotiable. Most guys would rather have sex with a condom than no sex at all. And you can always tell him you are not on the pill and super fertile. If you don’t feel comfortable asking a guy to use a rubber because you are scared he may judge or reject you, perhaps you shouldn’t be sleeping with him? Maybe he’s a total dick.

 

Dear Tabitha, 

I find myself questioning whether I am bisexual or not. My first kiss was with a girl when my friend tried to “teach me” how to kiss the guy I liked. I know you have come out as bisexual and I want to ask, at what point did you know? (Charlotte, Brighton) 

Everyone’s path is different. I first realised I was bi when I had been having threesomes with a sexy and beautiful couple (a guy and girl) for nearly a year. One day I just kinda thought, “Huh, I think I’m bi…” Before that I never really thought about it. I had been experimenting sexually since I was a teenager but before that I just thought I was “sometimes a little gay” and then “sometimes a little straight”. I hadn’t put the idea together that I could be attracted to both genders at the same time as well as separately until I found myself with this couple. As long as you feel comfortable and safe there is nothing wrong with experimenting with whoever you want. Maybe you will identify as more straight. Or gay. Or bi. While I still face small amounts of stigma and claims that I’m a “fence sitter” or “confused’ or “promiscuous” or “more likely to cheat” by some narrow-minded people, I don’t care. I know who I am and my actions aren’t hurting anyone. Be true to yourself. Whatever happens, do know that you aren’t alone; confusion in matters of the heart and sexual desire is the norm.